You can file this piece of garbage along side Fifty Shades of Grey as one of the cheapest, sleaziest and silliest films of 2015. Talk about being morally bankrupt. The Loft was made in 2014, dumped in theaters in January only to die a quick and much needed death. It has now slithered its way to DVD and On Demand and this thing is just horrendous. Even worse than “Grey”, The Loft is about a bunch of married jerks who decide to go in on a loft apartment purchase so they can cheat on their wives and not have to worry about getting caught with messy hotel receipts and such. When one of a woman turns up dead at the loft the film then turns into a whodunit, but believe me you won’t care.
The Loft is a remake of the 2008 film simply called Loft, both directed by Belgium native Eric Van Looy. I have not seen 2008 version but on IMDB it is given a 7.4 rating out of 10. The remake sits proudly at 6.3. People associated with the film should not be allowed to vote for it. The Loft is such an ill advised film, that even for Hollywood, I was surprised at the level of depravity with which people are categorized. Women are represented as obnoxious, needy, cloying, selfish, immature and mean. Men are basically sadistic jerks who are also selfish as well as ego maniacal. Well the men in this film ARE, but the women are victims of these jack wagons. But the film wants to justify the men’s actions but turning their wives into shrews.
The cast is attractive enough to make the premise perplexing; people who seem to have it all but are still not satisfied with life. But the film is so poorly written and directed that I could not have cared less about any of these characters. It never gets into the mind of any of these men and why they do the things they do. Instead, what we get is the police investigation after the killing and then have to sit through a series of flashbacks to get us up to date. Quite simply put, the men get what is coming to them and they bring it on themselves. I did not feel sorry for any of them and one the guys, Philip (played by Matthias Schoenaerts who was in the 2008 version, as well) is such an abrasive jerk, I was surprised that they did not go back and tone his character down a bit. Karl Urban, Wentworth Miller, James Marsden, Eric Stonestreet, Isabel Lucas, Rhona Mitra, Rachael Taylor, Valerie Cruz, Kali Rocha, Elaine Cassidy are wasted on a film that is billed as a romantic, thriller mystery that is not romantic, not thrilling and not mysterious. Only John Frizzell’s dark and moody score was able to guide me through this mess.
The Loft is a sad, depressing experience, devoid of any real entertainment value. It is cheap, offensive and not worth another person’s hard earned dollars. If someone comes across the 2008 version, I would love to hear how that film gets a 7.4 rating, because this version is a disaster.
The Loft-1/2 star out of 5
The Loft- Rated R for language, gore and sexual content
The Loft- Run Time is 108 minutes.
If you must see this film it is now available on DVD and On Demand